25 Things I Won't Miss From Civilization

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16 January 2006The Anhropik Network

This list comes in order that they came to me sitting at my computer. There is no attempt to prioritize them. Any comment must include a contribution to this list. If you do not have a contribution, you cannot comment. Sorry, that's the rule.

ClocksPollution (air I can't breathe)Having to enslave the majority of the human race to get most of the other listStuck-up people who believe themselves superior due to their family's moneyHypercongregationThe lacking of appropriate foliageHaving to explain why eating wild plants isn't dangerousHaving to justify my existenceMoneyColdsAllergiesNews ProgramsBeing told how I "have to see" this new movieHaving to shower so often my skin peels off because civilized people stinkHaving to listen to recorded musicCell PhonesBeing lonelyHaving so many oranges in cleaning solutions that juices have to be artificialFast food (by which I, of course, mean McDonald's not deer)The bread aisle at the supermarketAstroturfLiving in buildings more flammable than whiskeySmelling car exhaustSmelling cigarette smokeSilence (in the woods there are always sounds)

27 Responses to "25 Things I Won't Miss From Civilization"

limukala says: January 16th, 2006 at 7:11 am

How about "work" and "work ethic"(if I enjoy it, I don't consider it work, and survival oriented activities are usually pleasant)Work ethic is what I call work for the sake of work. Some kind of sick sadomasochistic calvinist remnant or something.

limukala says: January 16th, 2006 at 7:11 am

and traffic

Adrian says: January 16th, 2006 at 9:32 am

Light pollutionPublic schoolboys - EnglishHyper aggressive underclass drunksSmackheadsCrackheadsPhsycoticsAnxiety ridden caffeine driven advertisting companiesCaffeineGoldman SachsLoan consolidation companiesCredit cardsRight wing family valuesAny rush hour - anywhereLives spent in denialNarcisscistsParis Hilton

Rory says: January 16th, 2006 at 12:17 pm

the illuminati

the United nations

rush limbaugh

al franken

politics in general

Miranda says: January 16th, 2006 at 12:24 pm

Tourism

Marco says: January 16th, 2006 at 1:22 pm

25 Reasons Why This Is The Worst Article I've Ever Read On This Site:

1. It's perfectly reasonable to ignore many of the examples listed and still be a member of "civilization".

2. Many of the examples listed hardly apply to anyone.

3. Some of them will apply even when civilization collapses and you all go live the woods and Jason eats me.

25. It seems like you had about 4 good ideas and rushed through the other 21 because you had already titled the article "25 Things...".

Love,Marco

JimFive says: January 16th, 2006 at 1:24 pm

Television. Does it need an explanation.

Jason Godesky says: January 16th, 2006 at 1:40 pm

Can't be all 25-page theses all the time, now can it, Marco?

Miranda says: January 16th, 2006 at 1:46 pm

Well Marco, I do believe the article was written by a person who wont miss these 25 things. Whether they apply to you or not doesn't really make a difference does it?

You know what else I wont miss?

toilet paper. boy I will not miss toilet paper. weird, i know.

Raku says: January 16th, 2006 at 1:57 pm

One Thing I Won't Miss From Civilization

1. Marco

;)

Marco says: January 16th, 2006 at 2:08 pm

Raku: Fair enough. :)

Vicky says: January 16th, 2006 at 4:14 pm

crowdsWal-Martschoolsvacuumingperfectly manicured lawns6 lane roadsjunk mail/ Spamsports as an institution

Chuck says: January 16th, 2006 at 6:10 pm

What I will not miss:

Love of an ideal being more powerful than love for your familyObnoxious, pompous, irritating John Philip Sousa musicThe United States Navy Seabees, particularly Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 5Benniffer and BrangelinaPeople who read People magazinePeople who cry when the Star-Spangled Banner is playedUmm, hierarchy

- Chuck

Miranda says: January 16th, 2006 at 6:20 pm

Interesting, isn't it? The "wont miss" list seems to be more expansive than the "will miss" list.

I wont miss trails in the woods that you aren't supposed to get off of.Make your own trails!

Mike Godesky says: January 16th, 2006 at 7:41 pm

What I won't miss? Anthropik posters and Marco bickering over what they won't miss.

And I'm totally with Ben on the whole recorded music thing too. Damn that recorded music and its convenience!

Miranda says: January 16th, 2006 at 10:29 pm

as for my toilet paper comment, I felt compelled to explain... =)

Once the toilet paper is gone, civlization is defintely gone. Think about it. If you can't afford anything else at the store, what do you buy? Toilet Paper!It's like the "essential" essential.I mean, how many trees have we gone through to make the stuff?Not to mention all the things added to it to make it white or fluffy and soft.I might miss the convenience of toilet paper, but I wont miss it in general.

Giulianna Lamanna says: January 16th, 2006 at 11:01 pm

This is probably WAY too much information, but... this one time, I was... er... well... straddling the porcelain throne... and I ran out of toilet paper. That's when I remembered what they do in India: pour water on their left hand and get down and dirty. So I leaned over to the sink, did it Indian-style you might say, and washed my hands obsessively thoroughly afterward.

Say what you will based on your acculturated sense of "different from me = icky," but let me tell you, my butt never felt so clean.

Marco says: January 16th, 2006 at 11:11 pm

It'd be much easier to brush you off as an internet weirdo if I didn't actually know you and have a face to associate with the ass-hand.

Jason Godesky says: January 16th, 2006 at 11:16 pm

You bite the ass-hand that wipes its own ass, Marco.

Marco says: January 16th, 2006 at 11:38 pm

I have no idea what you just said, yet I do not wish for further clarification.

Jason Godesky says: January 16th, 2006 at 11:40 pm

First rule of techie-land: NEVER ask Jason for clarification.(Second rule of techie-land: You do not talk about techie-land?)

Benjamin Shender says: January 17th, 2006 at 12:34 am

Yeah, asking Jason for more information is usually a bad idea. ;)

Actually, originally the list was going to be 50 things, but I couldn't think of 50 things I wasn't going to miss.

Come on Mike, you know live music is better. Beating on the drum is better than listen to someone beat on a drum. During the gatherings we often just grab whatever and start playing whenever. Don't do that in civilization.

Mike Godesky says: January 17th, 2006 at 1:20 am

It is true that live music is better than recorded music. However, it is also true the recorded music is better than no music at all. And since there isn't always a live band performing wherever you happen to be, recorded music is quite convenient.

Besides, you don't have to wait for civilization to collapse to have a drum circle. Hippies do it all the time. ;)

Miranda says: January 17th, 2006 at 1:29 am

unfortunately drum circles dont just occur anywhere in everyday life.ah, but drum circles in a tribal setting, well, you never know when they'll pop up!Just like in gatherings with everyone.One person grabs a drum randomly and next thing you know everyone has a drum.And nobody looks at you weird like they do when you are singing the wrong notes to the recorded "perfect" music, because you are creating the music yourself.

Benjamin Shender says: January 17th, 2006 at 1:35 am

True. Without the recorded and written music, there is no "definitive version." So the fact that I can't carry a tune to the next room is irrevelvant. You guys just can't keep up with my shifts.

A tribe is it's own band.

Mike Godesky says: January 17th, 2006 at 1:52 am

unfortunately drum circles dont just occur anywhere in everyday life.

Or fortunately, depending on your point of view. ;)

And nobody looks at you weird like they do when you are singing the wrong notes to the recorded "perfect" music, because you are creating the music yourself.

I'm pretty sure you'd still be able to tell the difference between good music and bad music. And since I will never be as good of a musician as Miles Davis, I think I'll keep some of my old CDs around for as long as I can.

JCamasto says: January 17th, 2006 at 1:59 am

I won't miss:

3-6 billion other people, and their:

Man Made LawsTaxes and InsuranceHyper Cleanliness & Perfection ObsessionExtreme Specialization and Obfuscationthe Commodification of everything, coupled with the Perpetual Multiplex Selland of course, The Customer Is Always Right

I won't miss the wholesale slaughter of All Other LifeI won't miss shitting on my mother.

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By the way, (to assuage Giuli's lurking mom) - I will absolutely bring plenty of toilet paper to the wedding ceremony...